This Is Water

This is the speech I gave at Toastmasters for #10, Inspire Your Audience. This was the last speech I needed to earn the Competent Communication award. It was informed heavily by the book/speech, This Is Water, by David Foster Wallace.

   How many of you have heard that college isn't about what you learn but about "learning how to think?" I know that I heard that multiple times after college - that Rose, and engineering in general, is good because it teaches you how to think or problem solve. And at it's face value, that statement is trite and cliched. It seems like the kind of thing people tell you to make you feel better about the path you take after college. Don't use your degree that you and/or your parents just spent thousands of dollars on, and will be paying off for years to come? Well, you learned how to think. Never mind the fact that you got into a school in the first place and presumably needed to think somewhat to do that. Or that you managed to graduate from the good school in four or five years. Never mind that you worked really hard on those classes, homework assignments, essays, and lab reports about C++, differential equations, or the Scarlett Letter. It's okay to never use that stuff again because it taught you to think. In 2005, author David Foster Wallace delivered a commencement speech at Kenyon College. His words were widely spread and eventually published in this book, This Is Water. Wallace agrees that it is a cliched statement, but that it can be more than a platitude. What if it doesn't actually mean how to think, in the sense that we initially assume, but instead is a statement about learning how to choose what to think about?

    I agree with Wallace quite a bit on this point and it's something I've found to change my life. Choosing what to think about is not always easy, but it can have a vast difference on my attitude and general happiness. Let's consider the last time you were stuck in our wonderful Chicago traffic. Perhaps it was even on the way to this meeting tonight. We all know how frustrating times like that can be. You are tired from a long day of work and just want to get home or to whereever you have to go first, before you are able to go home. If it's the summer, the sun is shining in your eyes or rearview mirror, possibly making the car a little too warm for comfort. The car in front of you is going too slow, so you want to change lanes into the left lane that is moving faster. Of course, there's a jerk in a pick-up truck that doesn't want to let you in, but he eventually does. You get a few hundred feet and then that lane slows down too and all the people that were behind you are now speeding past. And then some other jerk in an SUV suddenly merges in front of you with barely any notice and an equally slim space to do so. Your first instinct, and mine, is likely to get angry. Perhaps you'll yell at the other drivers. "Gas is on the right" is one of my favorite for slow drivers. Perhaps you'll even show them a well known hand gesture to express your displeasure. And when none of that helps, because those drivers aren't paying attention to anyway, hence the issues, you'll slump back into your seat, smack the steering wheel, and keep crawling along, simmering and angry, because nothing you did helped. And then when you do finally get home, you are in a bad mood. Your spouse says something to you, which may have been innocent, but you can't take the nagging right now so you snap back. The you walk into the living room and trip over your kids' toys. They should know better, so you yell at them too. Since you were already angry and couldn't do anything about it, you yell at your family so they feel just as bad as you do. Now everyone in your house is grumpy and you eat dinner in silence. Another successful night. Sound familiar to anybody?

    But what if, instead of choosing to think that all Chicago traffic is out to get you and that the other drivers are purposefully trying to impede your trip home, you choose to think about it differently. You choose to think about how those all those other people in all those other cars are trying to get somewhere as well. Maybe they all had long days at work. Maybe the guy in the pickup truck just got off of a twelve hour shift building a bridge or fixing that road you take to work every day. Maybe the slow woman in front of you is going to her second job, where she works evenings to pay for her kids' schooling, and she's being extra cautious because she can't afford a ticket. Maybe the guy that cut you off to go nowhere fast is trying to get to the hospital where his wife is in labor and about to deliver their first child. Or worse, to get there to see his parent before it is too late. It's harder to think about these things. It's harder to take the time to think beyond our normal self-centered point of view, because that what we are so used to. As Wallace says, "There is no experience you've had that you were not at the absolute center of." But if we can take the time to think differently, to choose to think about others and consider what they are experiencing and going through, we can all be a little bit more compassionate and even happier. If you think about the guy who worked the twelve hour shift doing manual labor, you might be more appreciative of your white collar job that you were only at for nine hours sitting in front of a computer. If you consider the woman going to to her second job, you might be thankful that you are going home to spend time with your messy, but lovable family. 

    This can also be applied to work situations. I experienced something very similar at a previous job. I had a direct report employee who could not be at work on time if his life depended on it. It didn't matter if he had to be there at 8 a.m. or 1p.m. He was always late. We've all had times when people are late to meet us for whatever reason and I responded with the most basic reaction. I got mad. Clearly he didn't respect ME, wouldn't listen to ME, didn't care about MY time or how it looked for ME to have an employee that wasn't around when management came looking. Even when he was only a few minutes late, I would be mad. After awhile, being mad at him wasn't enough. I got mad at others in the company for not caring enough or not supporting me. It ruined my enjoyment of that job. Maybe you've experienced someone who is always late for meetings with you. How do you feel? Do you choose to get mad about it? Certainly constant tardiness may be a personnel issue. But you can also choose to think about their own situation. Maybe they have to take a child to daycare in the morning and it isn't open early enough to make that 8 a.m. meeting. Maybe the family only had one car so they have to drive their spouse to the train first. There are many valid reasons why someone might be late and very rarely do they have anything to do with you. My employee didn't have a grand excuse; he was just horrible with time management. Not necessarily a good skill for an employee, but also not something that had to affect me personally, but I let it. 

    And in general, being angry is not fun. Sure, the occasional angry outburst can be cathartic, elevating your heartbeat and making you feel alive. But if you are always angry, it can fester and make you unpleasant to be around. When I was dealing with this situation, I would go home every night and complain for a long time, in minute detail, to my husband. I'm sure he couldn't have cared less. I'm also sure it wasn't very enjoyable for him. When looking back in hindsight, I realize how I let the situation get to me and decided that I don't want to always be angry and always think others are out to make my life hard. I know that most of the time, the people around me in traffic, or in my way at the mall don't have any special circumstances excusing their poor behavior. They are in their own self-centered bubble. But by choosing to think that there might be other circumstances helps me stay calm and happy and able to deal with stresses better.

    David Foster Wallace opened his speech with this parable. There are two young fish swimming along one day. They pass an older fish swimming in the other direction who nods and calls to them, "Hey boys, how's the water?" The two young fish swim on and eventually one turns to the other and says, "What the heck is water?" The two young fish only had their narrow view of the world, centered around themselves. They didn't know what water is. Well, this is water. The world around us is the water and by choosing to think differently, compassionately, we can fully appreciate the water and others in it. 

Buffalo Dreams or How My Husband Is Trying to Kill Me

I gave this as my icebreaker speech (#1) for Toastmasters in 2006.


You may know that I recently got married. What you might not know is that my husband may be, unintentionally, trying to kill me with the places he chooses for vacation. No matter where we go, there is always some deadly animal there for me to be afraid of.

I first became suspicious in August 2004. We decided to go on a California Adventure and our first stop was at Yosemite, where we met up with some of his friends. I was a little afraid of bears before we even started, but they had been several times and said they hadn’t seen one yet. As we drove to the park, I found out that on one of their more recent trips, they had in fact seen a bear. I started to get nervous again. That afternoon we went on what was probably a beautiful hike. Unfortunately, I spent the whole time examining every tree stump and limb that moved, thinking it was a bear. We checked into our campground, which was plastered with bear warning signs. I was very diligent in putting every little thing with a scent inside the bear locker. I actually had a pretty good evening, and only woke up a few times thinking, “Was that a bear?”

The next day, we went on another hike, which happened to be the same hike they had seen the bear on. This was no different than the previous day; the rest of the party was 100 feet ahead of me, and I was behind, huffing, puffing, and looking for bears.

From Yosemite, Scott and I headed to San Francisco. We decided to go to Muir Woods, a redwood forest north of San Francisco. I thought, “Surely there won’t be anything to worry about there. There are no bears in San Francisco.” But as soon as we walked through the gates, I saw a sign warning people of cougars. And as we got a little further in, we were warned of another danger, the rabid bat. That afternoon I had two animals to worry about.

After San Francisco, we headed south to LA. Except for a quick stop in Pinnacles National Monument, where I had to be on the lookout for rattlesnakes, the rest of the trip was uneventful.

Last summer Scott thought we should drive through the Dakotas, after I expressed interest in seeing Mount Rushmore. Our first National Park was Badlands National Park. As we drove through, we stopped to look at a prairie dog town. They were so cute, sticking up from their holes looking around. Then I read the signs. Apparently, prairie dogs have a flea which carries a disease similar to the bubonic plague. And as if that isn’t enough, black widow spiders like to live in the prairie dog homes. I couldn’t even trust them.

The closest encounter so far happened a few nights later. We went to Theodore Roosevelt National Park, South Unit. We set up our tent in the afternoon, picking a spot near the river. As we were setting up, we noticed some buffalo crossing the river. It was a very pretty, natural site. We went into town, and by the time we got back, it was very late, after dark, so we just got ready and went to bed. I’m not sure how long I had been asleep when I was awaken by a noise. I immediately knew what it was; I had heard it earlier that week when we drove through a herd of buffalo. It sounded very close, and I was sure that if I opened the window in the tent, I would see a big eye staring back at me. Naturally, I did what any good girlfriend/wife would do – I woke Scott up.

“Scott, do you hear that”

“Huh, oh cool. A buffalo.”

And he fell back asleep. It was a very long night. Every time I fell asleep, I would hear that noise. I was convinced that if I moved too much, the buffalo would get spooked and trample the tent, turning us into some sort of human nylon burrito. It only got worse as the night went on. Some time in the early morning, I had to go to the bathroom. There was no way I was leaving the tent in the dark, by myself, to walk to the bathroom, so I decided to tough it out. Every time I fell asleep, I dreamt about going to the bathroom, but as I got to the door, a buffalo would be lying across the threshold. I dreamt they were at the camp, in office buildings, with my mom, my friends. It was a very long night. When we finally got up in the morning, we could see buffalo in a campsite near by, but we’ll never know how close they really were that night.

While these experiences have been scary for me, thanks to my husband, I have gotten to see and experience a lot of things I might not otherwise experience. But if I ever don’t come back from vacation, you’ll know one of these creatures finally got me.

Why everyone should read Young Adult books

I gave this speech as my persuasive speech (#9) for Toastmasters. I'm sure I said a few different things during the actual speech, but this is the gist of it.

Books are available to cover every possible topic you can think of. There are books about vampires, secret societies, and knitting. There are mysteries, science fiction, historical fiction, romance, and many other genres. Who knows, there may even be vampire knitting books, but I haven't found those yet. There really are books available for every niche and interest you may have. However one genre often overlooked by adults is the Young Adult Fiction. And I believe everyone should read Young Adults books.

Now, you may be saying, "Stacey, I am not a teen. I haven't been a teen in a long time. Why would I want to read a book about teens?" Well, while the books may be geared towards teens, and are often set in high school, there are important lessons in YA books that even adults can relate to. I am very fond of John Green's books and think they have great lessons in them for people of all ages. In Paper Towns, a boy named Q is enthralled by his neighbor Margo Roth Spieglman. One night, she invites him on a revenge-filled mission with her, then disappears the next morning. Throughout the rest of the book, Q investigates her disappearance, and along the way, realizes that the Margo he had been pining after for years was not actually the person she was. He discovers that often we project onto other people how we want them to behave, instead of getting to know the actual person. This is something even adults can take to heart. How often do you want your spouse to behave in a certain way and are then disappointed when he or she doesn't? Do you get mad when someone isn't at work before 11, because you would never come in that late? Do you take the time to actually think about that person and imagine what his life is like? It's something I recognize doing myself, and something I actually wish I had been more aware of in high school. And it's something that I can apply to my life now to help me be more aware and tolerant of others. Young adult books show that some lessons are worth learning and relearning, regardless of your age.

Another benefit of YA books is that they are often easy to read. You don't have to disect the book to figure out that the author made it rain during the scene to symbolize the grief felt by the protagonist. No, it's just there. I mentioned the lessons in John Green's books, but don't think that it took me hours of careful analysis to figure that out. It's mentioned in the book. While this could be a bit much to always have everything laid out, oftentimes it is a nice treat to have something simple and easy to read. I like to read a book quickly and enjoy the plot. I also enjoy a good lesson, but I don't want to have to overanalyze everything in the book to find the lesson. And young adult books seem ideal for this.

Most young adult books are set in high school, and it's something everyone can related to, since we've all been there. Regardless of your background, you had to get through those teen years to make it to adulthood. And there are some universal things that we all experienced. Many adult books are set in situations we haven't experienced. They involve families, divorce, murder, CIA intrigue, and other situations that we might not know about. But we do all know about the awkwardness that comes with growing up and finding your place in the world. And hopefully we all have at least a few good memories about that time, be it school activities, first romance, or hanging out on Friday nights at the football game. When the daily grind of work and responsibility gets to be too much, it can be a stress reliever to escape back into that more carefree time for just a little bit.

There are some young adult books that are heavy on the young side, and may not be for everyone. But you may not like all books of an adult genre either. What is entertaining for one person may not be so for another. Don't discount the entire genre just because you think they are all kid's books and don't be embarrassed to read whatever you want. Next time you are in the library or bookstore, take a look in the YA section. If you see something interesting, hold your head up high, and get that book. You can always say it is for your niece or nephew.

Homemade Photo Ornaments

For years, my family has had an ornament exchange at Christmas. At the beginning, I tried to get ornaments that represented Scott and I. Then, for a few years, I made sure we got ornaments while on vacation each year stating where we had been. In 2007, I forgot to get them on vacation and decided to try something different. I had a few old family pictures that I thought were neat and decided to try to share them with the ornaments. After a lot of internet research, I found a site that I could order ornaments from. The first two I ordered turned out great, so I ordered more for gifts and even recommended the site to Tracey for presents she was purchasing. Unfortunately, the rest of the ones ordered were not great.

This year, I decided to figure out how to make the ornaments myself. In fact, the website that I ordered from last year didn't exist any more. I searched online and discovered water slide (or water slip) decals. Apparently this is what you use on model cars as well. I found a site to order a sample kit with everything I needed. I also ordered the rubber squeegee. (I did find some paper at Hobby Lobby, but it was not 8.5 x 11 and was more expensive. The sample kit was good to start with.)

My first step was finding the ornaments. I wanted a landscape rectangular and portrait oval, but this proved harder to find than I thought. I found a few websites that sold them in bulk. I also found a few on sites that would print for you. I emailed one and they did offer to sell me the blanks for around $5 each. Hobby Lobby had some circular, unfinished ornaments for 99 cents, so I decided to try those first. I purchased a few, along with some white paint, spray enamel, and brush on enamel. The paint was fine to help give the ornaments a finished look. Then I found circular ones at Michael's that already had a nice finish to them for only $1.49. I ended up using a lot of these.

Next I had to print out the pictures needed. In Photoshop Elements, I created a square canvas about 2 x 2 inches. Using the circle selector, I made a circle the size of the ornament. Then I selected the inverse and filled it in with white. Then I was able to put my pictures as a layer behind that one and could move it around and resize it.

I created another canvas that was 8.5 x 11 and I pasted the sized images into it. I was able to fit 4 ornaments per sheet, plus wording for the back of the ornaments. In a few cases, I had to do some photoshopping to extend the picture to fill the ornament.

After I printed out the pictures, I followed the instructions that came with the kit. First I had to seal the images. The bottle said to do it in a well ventilated area. I naturally ignored that the first time. I applied the sealer and left the sheet on the kitchen table. When we went to bed, we both noticed a smell. It was very permeating. I moved the sheet to the garage so we couldn't smell it. I let it dry for at least a day and then trimmed each round image.

I filled a small bowl with warm water and placed the first picture it in. While it soaked, I put the mounting fluid on the ornament and spread it around. Once the picture started coming up from the backing, I took the photo out of the water and placed it on the ornament. I used more mounting fluid on top of the photo and gently positioned the image. I used the squeegee to smooth out all the air bubbles and then let it dry.

The first two I did turned out really well. Then I made several for Tracey. I had more trouble with those, and I learned a few tips.

1. Make sure the fixative is applied over the entire picture. Even when I would spread it over the photo, when I looked sideways, I could see little spots that weren't covered. When soaked in water, those spots lost the image. It helped to apply the fixative liberally and look at it from all angles to make sure it was covered.

2. Don't let the fixative dry in too cool of a place. When I made the first two, it was still pretty warm out, so the garage wasn't that cold. When I made some of Tracey's, it was very cold outside and the cooler air in the garage seemed to have some effect on the pictures. They seemed cloudier.

3. Let the image soak long enough. The instructions say to leave it in for a minute, but I think I got impatient sometimes. When it didn't soak long enough, the image seemed likely to fold on itself (and it could be unfolded, but was a pain).

4. Use plenty of mounting fluid and don't pull on the image when using the squeegee. I ruined a few of the pictures because I tore it or stretched it.

All in all, they turned out pretty good. I think I will make some more for future Jung family Christmases. With two ornaments a year and 50 family members, I'm good for the next twenty years!

Book Collection

I've always been a big collector of books. During elementary school and junior high, that was my bribe for good grades. My parents and I had a complicated system worked out where each A equaled a book, being on the exceptional honor roll yielded two extras and so forth. I also got books at other times and could never wait for the library to get the latest Baby-Sitter's Club; I had to get a copy from the book store as soon as it was out. As I got older, I still tended to purchase books when Iw anted something to read. All of this has left me with quite the collection. (At least, quite a collection of pre-teen books.) I recently decided that I wanted to track the books I have in some sort of database, similar to the one Scott uses with his DVD collection. So I went in search of a program.

I had a few requirements:

• Ability to export to HTML. Scott's DVD list is available online and I want to be able to do something similar with my books.
• Ability to look up and download information about the books so I didn't have to type it all in.
• Nice-to-have - Books stored in a common format. I didn't want a program that stored books in some proprietary format.

I first went in search of freeware, but discovered that not much existed there. So I downloaded trials of several programs and evaluated them.

Library Express

• 39.99
• Stored in SQL. Up to date UI
• No export to HTML
• http://www.libraryexpress.net/download.html
  

BookCAT

• 39.95
• Look up by isbn. Data in access. Generates HTML pages. Very customizable. Export to HTML
• http://www.fnprg.com/bookcat/
  

BookCollector

• 49.95
• Export to HTML has a lot of options.
• Several clicks to import new books
• http://www.collectorz.com/book/
  

Book Tracker

• 14.95
• Doesn't look up by ISBN. All custom entered information
• http://www.ducksoftware.com/book-organizer.html
  

Libra

• Free
• Only exports to web view with links to Amazon and images of books
• http://www.bestvistadownloads.com/download/t-free-libra-download-mrwpeffl.html
  

Complete Home Library

• Free
• icky UI. No look up online
• http://www.pilibrary.com/
  

Libellus

• 14.95
• Kept giving an error
• http://www.tantillus.com/

I decided to go with BookCat, and so far I am happy. The customizable-ness is very nice. I've already made a few different views. I borrowed a scanner from work, but didn't have luck getting it to work. But I should be able to type in the ISBN numbers fairly quickly to import my books.

iTunes almost handles audiobooks

Since I started listening to some audiobooks on my iPod, I have been frustrated with how they are handled. (And it seems to be a common complaint, check the interweb.) If your audiobooks aren't in the iTunes recognized format (.m4b, I think) then they just appear as music files and don't show up under the Audiobook menu. That is, until iTunes 8. Last night, I discovered that the Get Info - Options screen for files now has an option for Media Kind. If you choose Audiobook there, the files now show up under the Audiobook menu and go away from the Music view. When viewing audiobooks, you can rate the entire book (which then puts the rating on each file.) This is nice, but can lead to other issues. I had to go back to my smart playlists for My 5 Stars, etc, and exclude files with the genre of Audiobook. I do have some issues with how the Audiobooks are being handled:

1. You can't sync the books individually. Once I chose to View Audiobooks, an Audiobooks option showed up under the Select Playlists view when my iPod was synced. If checked, then all the audiobooks load. If unchecked, none of them do. I would like to have it work like TV shows or Movies, where I can choose to only sync selected audiobooks. I just don't have enough space on my 16Gig Touch. I do have a work around for now. I already had my audiobooks in playlists. If I uncheck Audiobooks and then check the specific playlist, only that book loads. And it is still listed under the Audiobooks menu on the iPod.
2. When you listen to a file that you selected under the Audiobooks menu, it doesn't show which specific file is playing. Not the end of the world, but...
3. The iPod seems to have a mind of its own when labeling files. At least a little bit. I am quite picky and I like to have my audiobooks set up with one file per chapter, named after the chapter. None seem to come like this, so I have spent plenty of time editing mp3 files to get them saved like I like them. I just don't understand why they come in so many different formats, each named something cryptic like 01-Part 1. When I stop listening to an audiobook, I am much more likely to remember that I am in Chapter 4 than that I am in 01-Part12. This could be because I am not used to listening in the "real" audiobook format that remembers where you are. Anyway. I discovered that if the file has a track number, then the iPod shows that file as Part 1 of 28 instead of the chapter name. If I remove the track number, then it shows up as the chapter name. Not a big deal to work around, but a little weird. Still, I like having it by chapter name. I tend to relisten to my favorite chapters over and over, instead of relistening to an entire book.

All in all, this seems to be a step in the right direction.

Organic Food

Scott and I thought we would try out a home delivery of organic food. I happened to see the truck for Timber Creek Farms one day on my way to work, and it intrigued me. I called last week and ordered the Fruit and Vegetable box. Our first delivery arrived on Monday. We had to place a cooler on the porch in the morning, and when we got home that evening, it was filled with healthy goodness. I had thought that this would also be locally grown, and help with the whole 100 mile thing but you can see that isn't true by the things we received.

Of course, I don't see any where that they advertise locally grown, so I must have just made that up. It does seem like we got our money's worth with a lot of stuff. Unfortunately, most of it is stuff that Scott doesn't like, but he has been a good sport and tried it. So far, we have had:

Watermelon - I've had several pieces and Scott tried one

Romaine lettuce - We made a salad out of it one night, and then I cut up some for tacos the next.

Cucumber - I used part of this on a salad, and then ate the rest at work.

Spinach - We used the leaves on the salad.

The trick will be to use it all up before it goes bad. I looked up a recipe for the red chard, but haven't been brave enough to try it yet.